۩ròód۩

发信人: acadiacc (红袖添香夜读书), 信区: Joke                                                                          
标  题: YC 田伯光是怎样炼成的                                                                                          
发信站: 日月光华 (2007年09月27日01:56:45 星期四), 站内信件                                                             

公元2007年9月26日18时许。崇明岛前哨农场。                                                                              
金乌西沉，银魄初升，残霞溢彩，烟云流光。暮色四合的小镇上已经有些冷清了。                                               
有此起彼伏的犬吠声。                                                                                                   
三五个花白头发的老太太，用方言拉着家常，在黄昏中慢慢踱圈子。                                                           

我在镇上唯一的公交站牌下张望着。老太太们踱了过来。                                                                     
“小姑娘，你在等车嘛？”方言口音过重，我努力地分辨着。                                                                 
“恩。”（不然我站在这里干吗- -）                                                                                      
“你要去堡镇嘛？”                                                                                                     
“恩。”                                                                                                               
“去堡镇干什么？”                                                                                                     
“坐船回上海。”（这个都要问……）                                                                                     
“你今晚住哪？”                                                                                                       
“……………………学校”（这话题转得真快- -）                                                                          
“你学校是哪里的？”                                                                                                   
“复旦的。”（我晕，要查户口？）                                                                                       
问话的老太太对另一个黑衣大妈点点头，隐隐听得黑衣大妈嘀咕道“住学校，不错”                                             
“你是一个人回去嘛？”（ft，居然换了黑衣大妈继续盘问……）                                                             
“恩。”                                                                                                               
“你是一个人来的嘛？”                                                                                                 
“我……”                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                       
师兄穿着脏兮兮的汗衫，挥舞着一根破竹竿上。                                                                             
我见到了救星：“喂！”                                                                                                 
师兄：“你还没走？这么晚了没船了吧？还没吃饭？你在这里再住一夜吧！”                                                   
我还没答话，黑衣大妈抢道：“没船住码头嘛！”                                                                           
师兄很诧异地看了大妈一眼，顿了顿，对我：“你在那站着做什么？过来这里等车。”                                           
我：“哦。”正要走过去，被大妈一把拉住：“不要过去！就在这等。”                                                       
说着瞄了师兄一眼，对我嘀咕道：“一个小姑娘家，不要被人骗了。”                                                         
我：………………                                                                                                       
师兄：（义愤填膺地举起竹竿，好像要起义）就是我把她带来的！我，我看上去像骗小M                                          
M的么？                                                                                                                
大妈还是紧紧拉着我：“你原来就认识他嘛？”                                                                             
我赶紧点头。                                                                                                           
师兄：（无奈地在站牌旁蹲下，模样很民工）我就在这里送她上车好了。                                                       
大妈（怀疑地看了师兄一眼，放开了我）对师兄道：“哦，那谢谢你了。”                                                     
师兄：（满头黑线中…………）                                                                                           
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
momo可怜的师兄，哇哈哈                                                                                                 
这就是长得qc和长得ws的差别啊，哈哈哈哈……                                                                             
--                                                                                                                     
对酒当歌，挑灯看剑                                                                                                     
山花满头，莫问归处                                                                                                     
来源:·日月光华 bbs.fudan.edu.cn·FROM:[扫叶山房]                                                                      

发信人: rood (诸夏怀霜), 信区: Joke                                                                                    
标  题: 好吧 我就是炼田伯光的师兄                                                                                      
发信站: 日月光华 (2007年09月27日15:50:04 星期四), 站内信件                                                             

其实昨天惨事红袖没说全 所以当不了洪秀全                                                                                
就在我满头黑线后不久                                                                                                   
红袖说她饿了                                                                                                           
问哪里还有吃的卖                                                                                                       
我指给她车站前的黑心小店                                                                                               
过了五分钟 我看见红袖的红衣马尾背影走了出来                                                                            
却径直往车站的反方向走                                                                                                 
我大喊喂 你往哪里走！                                                                                                  
结果“红袖”一回头 竟是大妈一名                                                                                        
见鬼 我怎么就没注意她穿的是裙子呢                                                                                      
正宗红袖一回来 我就怨她害我今天田伯光灵魂附体                                                                          
她捅捅我 我一回头 得 刚刚说到的红衣大妈又踱回我背后了                                                                  
这时我头上的黑线已经变成雷雨云了                                                                                       
总算送她上了车 我还以为到此为止                                                                                        
没想到周润发说 我才刚上路哩                                                                                            
晚上10点 我在实验室接到一陌生电话                                                                                      
彭博士 我们家cc什么时候走的 怎么电话一直联系不上                                                                       
居然连老爹都杀出来了 我吓得浑身是嘴都辩不清                                                                            
赶紧自己联系 结果要是关机或者busy也就罢了 愣是现在暂时无法接通                                                         
我脑海中顿时浮现出无数不同题材的经典镜头                                                                               
（昨天下午刚发明一段话 人不ws枉少年 但是过了少年                                                                       
  不是满脑肥肠 就是满脑h 所以要为了努力建设和谐社会而正当自慰                                                          
  当时一想到这个恨不能撕了自己的嘴）                                                                                   
实验也做得精力极其不集中                                                                                               
好容易到了10点45 回应变成了已关机 我想大概到复旦睡了可以安心                                                           
结果一回基地刚躺下红袖老母电话又杀到了 根本没在南区寝室                                                                
请注意 红袖父母均为会计出身 于是情节迅速向我欲哭无泪的侦探方向发展                                                     
我反复强调的成年性和崇明-复旦公交线路安全性（猛地想起宝杨码头贴的通缉令……）                                          
结果每次都是一句话就被噎回去了  她是小姑娘一个人哎！                                                                   
这就是qc的下场？我明天还下滩的呢 能睡安稳么                                                                            
终于12点多 我迷迷糊糊接到了平安短信                                                                                    
结论是 我要干死标明80分钟结果氽江浮尸般氽了2小时多的亚通公司乌龟船…………                                             
本来以为这是真正的结尾了                                                                                               
没想到今天带着没睡足的脑袋在滩上干到脚软                                                                               
回来的车上司机印师傅一句话让我意识到田伯光的宿命就像惊声尖笑第一部海报上                                               
的“绝无续集”那样不可靠 真是好人不偿命 噩梦遗千年：                                                                   
“你本科生爹妈怎么会知道你手机的？有问题啊……”                                                                       
--                                                                                                                     
不昧六因明                                                                                                             
风马嘶磨旌旗墨                                                                                                         
霜凝汗血沧狼出                                                                                                         
入得博客荜路孤                                                                                                         
http://rood.yculblog.com                                                                                               
※ 来源:·日月光华 bbs.fudan.edu.cn·[FROM: 222.72.201.161]